


Past Experience and Future Results

by cirruss



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Bullying, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Minor Violence, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 21:50:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2285670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cirruss/pseuds/cirruss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She smiled as sweetly as she could at her mom, while bringing a forkful of imaginary corn to her mouth. Uugghh, she had bought the low carcinogen one. It tasted like cardboard. Janice dutifully chewed it, making sure to look like the perfect little angel she was."</p><p>Raising a child in Night Vale is an adventure, especially if said child is stubborn, lonely, and has <i>not</i> taken a shine to your new boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past Experience and Future Results

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this because there is nowhere near enough fic about Janice in the world. I just really love the kids of Night Vale. This fic is set pre episode 53, because they totally messed up my theory of how Cecil and Steve are step-brothers but Cecil still calls Janice his niece with their dumb canon. Psh, who needs it. Also, this is my first fic, so please point out to me if i need to tag anything or if there are any spelling mistakes or anything in the fic. Thanks!
> 
> *Edit because I was confusing. The fic is set pre episode 1, and Carlos will probably arrive in the next couple months. The canon I'm using is pre episode 53, because I wrote the majority of the story before it came out. I hope that clears it up!

Janice had been pointedly chanting in her room for the last forty five minutes and no one had noticed. She had been trying to carve a wooden figure of herself looking mad to give to her mom, but she couldn't find her good knife, and there was only one person who would know where it was, and Janice was not speaking to her at the moment. As a fallback, this too was failing spectacularly. She had chosen this particular artist because she knew that her mom hated modified Sumerian. "It’s not grammatically correct! Why would you fix something that isn't broken?” Even so, her mom hadn't even come in to ask her to turn it from ear-splitting to merely minor summoning volumes. 

This is what new boyfriends do. Ugh. She rolled her eyes, the effect of which was lessened by there being no one around, but she hoped that the Faceless Old Woman had been watching at least. Honestly, Dave hadn't been a bad guy, why couldn't she just stick with him until after he had taken them to his cottage out in the sand wastes. Janice sighed and rolled her eyes again, which resulted in her music skipping as some unseen and totally 100% secret force knocked against her CD player forcefully. 

She gave the room in general a stern look.

"Aren't you supposed to be secretly living in my home? You have a lot of chutzpah for someone who doesn't pay rent. And don't think I didn't notice that you changed my essay to bee-facts yesterday. You're lucky I had an extra prepared."

The door opened. 

"Jany, I know you're upset, but picking fights with the Faceless Old Woman is only going to end up with your bed made up upside down and backwards again, and we just washed and changed those sheets. Besides, dinner is on the table."

Janice sighed once more for effect, and headed to the small dining room area rolling smoothly into place in her empty spot at the simple dark wooden table, across from her mother. A plate of urban salmon, vegetables, and rice sat steaming beside a cup of orange milk.

Juice at dinner! Mom must really be trying to make amends. Usually she only got orange-milk after school, so this would be her second glass of the day.

The dinner conversation was comfortable, with Janice talking about her day at school, which, “was great don't worry mom. It just would have been better if Anthony would have stopped being a know it all about ocean ecosystems just because he has gills. I mean honestly, Mya told me that her mom said that Anthony's mom was a know-it-all back when they were in high school together and everyone knows that being a know it all is inherited through the mother so if he knows so much then he should know better than to say that sharks are all from France when obviously they spoke Greek originally just look at their scales and their—“

“Janice sweetie, I know that it can be hard to accept when people start saying things that don't make a lot of sense, but you have to remember that some people come from a different background from you and maybe they learned different things at home.”

“But he's so wrong. How does he do it?”

“We all have to be understanding of other people and their opinions. You don't have to like it, but you have to accept it.”

“I guess... It'd be easier to accept other people for who they are if I had gazed deeply into the void.”

She smiled as sweetly as she could at her mom, while bringing a forkful of imaginary corn to her mouth. Uugghh, she had bought the low carcinogen one. It tasted like cardboard. Janice dutifully chewed it, making sure to look like the perfect little angel she was.

“Jany I'm sorry. I know that you wanted to go visit Dan's cottage and stare out into the sand wastes and void, but it wasn't working out. He was nice but...no, I'm not discussing my love life with you. Anyway, we can pitch a tent in the back yard and stare up into the void together this weekend. That'll give you enough of a crisis to talk about with your friends I’m sure.”

“But the void above our house is boring!” I don’t have any friends, and I’ll never make any friends unless I can tell them some cool story to make them stop pretending I don’t exist. Everyone looks at the void above their houses!

“How would you know if you haven't tried? You know very well that looking at the sky requires parental supervision, and so there's no way that you could have seen it and no way that you could know that it's 'boring'.”

“But if you would just date Dan for two more weeks....”

“I'm pretty sure I said that wasn't up for discussion. I'm sorry if you miss Dan, but we are… How does it go? Never ever, ever, ever getting back together, like ever?”

“Mom… Just no. You are too old to be quoting Queen Victoria at me.” 

 *** 

Sarah smiled, she may be "old and uncool" but she certainly knew how to distract her little girl when she had to. If she filled out the parental bonding and residential camping forms this evening, she could get the permit by Friday, and Janice would soon forget about Dan… she hoped. Damn, she felt terrible for foisting this on her daughter so suddenly. As much as she knew that she didn’t need a father figure in order to have a healthy childhood, Sarah wanted to be able to provide her with stability. She promised herself that the next time, she wouldn’t let any potential partners near Janice until she had thoroughly vetted them. She wasn’t going to have another Dan, with his kindness and charm and great taste in movies, who had, in the heat of an argument, slapped Sarah across the face and told her to “get over your damn kid already”. No, breaking up with Dan was not a choice she regretted.

“-- Whadda you think?”

“Sorry, I was lost in thought, what was that?”

“Rashad said that They were going to start kidnapping kids from the 6th grade to train into psychic non-governmentally-approved book finders, like those dogs that They have to test for margarita glasses and pens. They’re so cute! But I think that’s bologna –“

She cleared her throat

“Er… governmentally-approved meat solids. What do you think?”

“I don’t think that the government is going to start using children as sniffer dogs any time soon, but I might suggest a certain almost-grade-four girl for the job on weekends and holidays if that certain girl couldn’t find her way to finishing the rest of her imaginary corn.”

Sarah went back to her own dinner, and the task of trying to coax Janice into eating as much and as balanced of a meal as possible. It was nice, she thought, just her and Janice. She wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her daughter. No, she was going to be very careful indeed of the people that she brought home.

 *** 

The fight had started because Valeria had said that she wanted to play submarine tennis with the ball, and Janice had wanted to play invisible blow dart. Valeria said that the last time they had turned the ball invisible, they had lost it, and she didn’t want to lose her new toy in the grass. Janice had retorted that the ball wasn’t lost, it had been thrown into Old Woman Josie’s front yard where a thing-our-parents-won’t-tell-us-what-it-is was sunning itself and had “become unknowable” (as Mr. Alters had put it). Accusations were thrown like confetti – you threw the ball on purpose because you’re a cheater!—yeah well I let you cheat off of me when you didn’t know how to spell prophetic OR malevolent OR pulsing on the test yesterday so who’s the real cheater? – Eventually, Valeria had hit the point that she knew would upset Janice.

“Well, I heard that your mom is dating a guy at the bank and that he’s mean and grumpy and he’s gonna be your DAD.”

“I don’t have a dad! My mom and I don’t need a stupid dad to mess things up.”

“Well you’re gonna have one now, and he’s gonna be mean, and grumpy, and he’s gonna spend all his time with your mom, and you’re never gonna go out for ice cream again.” 

With that Valeria turned around and stomped away. She only lived four blocks away from school, so it was safe for her to walk home so long as she carried her machete in an easy to reach place. 

Janice wished that she could take herself home, but she had to wait for her mom to come pick her up. She wished that she could stop sniffling, but Valeria always knew how to get under her skin. She REALLY wished that she could make her mom’s new boyfriend not come over tonight, but the visit had been planned for weeks. She had even been excited to meet this new guy until her so-called friend had said all those mean things. Janice knew that Valeria wasn’t very nice to her. She had been forced to sit through presentations by Brian the sea anemone about bullying, but Valeria was the best she had. She had always been shy, and it was hard to make friends when you can barely stand to talk to new people.

Janice was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn’t notice the hooded figure approaching until it was almost on her. She had of course been warned about the hooded figures who liked to snatch weeping children, but she didn’t like crying in front of people, so she was never out and unprotected when it happened. It was the swishing of its cloak that drew her attention, and her head shot up just as it reached a long sleeve out toward her chair, as if to push her in the direction of the FORBIDDEN MUNICIPAL GRASS AREA. After years of safety training, Janice’s body reacted reflexively. She whipped her switchblade out of the specially sown pouch on the side of her chair, and with a smooth flick slashed across the figure’s abdomen. A large tear opened up in its cloak, and its hood tilted down in a mockery human surprise. It turned and walked quickly past her back to the DOG PARK, long sleeves tucked up against the gash as if trying to hold its viscera in while maintaining the illusion that it had meant to do that.

Watching the figure retreat, Janice began to breathe heavily. The shock was hitting her all at once, and wasn’t this turning out to be the WORST DAY EVER. She flicked her knife closed…or…tried to. When she felt for the blade, not bothering to look down, her hand came up against empty air. Okay, it was official, this had now been the worst day in the universe. The void inside the hooded figure’s cloak had eaten her knife. 

Ugggghhhhh. Janice groaned to herself. That knife had been a gift! She stuck her tongue out at the figure, and tried resolutely to deny any renewed prickling she was definitely not feeling in her eyes.

Of course, because it was just her luck, it was at that moment that Janice spotted her mom driving up the road she swallowed hard and took a couple deep breaths the car pulled up.

 *** 

Janice looked sullen… no… glum as she got into the car. Sarah tried to casually give her a look over as she folded up her wheelchair and placed it in the trunk. She looked unhurt, just sad.

She slid into the driver’s seat and thought about how to approach this. Janice hated being fussed over, and Sarah showing how much she worried would make her shut up faster than a secret police holding cell. 

“So…” she began, keeping her voice light and her eyes on the road. “How was school?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it. It was fine, I guess.”

Sarah hated being right sometimes, but no one knew her daughter like she did.

“Was the teacher nice? Did you play and fun games like spider, spider, skink? What kind of homework do you have tonight?”

“Mr. Alters was fine, like every day. We played some games I guess. And I have some English homework. We have to practice our times tables.” Janice turned toward the window and looked out as if each molecule of air had personally insulted her.

“Okay, well why don’t you get started on that right away when we get home, Steve is coming over for dinner tonight and I thought that we might watch a movie after. Something fun and educational like Charlotte’s Web.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah saw Janice tense up and nod fractionally. She could have smacked herself. Of course Janice was upset, Steve was coming over tonight. After the Dan debacle, Sarah had made sure that her partner was a genuine and reliable person before she brought him home, but as much as she tried to deny it, Janice had been attached to Dan, and it was only natural to feel nervous. If only she weren’t so stubborn, Sarah would have tried to talk to her about it, but while she was a sweet kid, Sarah had to admit that her daughter could keep her emotions private better than an agent from a vague-yet-menacing government agency. Acting concerned about her would only make her act like a brat, to try and make her mom angry instead. She sighed as quietly as she could. No matter what kind of movie she used as a bribe to soften Janice up, this was going to be a long night.

*** 

Steve stood on the front porch, the bunch of flowers held tightly in his hands waving slightly as he shifted his weight back and forth, fidgeting with the wrapping around the stems. He was still wearing his grey work suit, and his hands running through salt and pepper hair had made it stand up at odd angels 

He could hear Sarah’s voice clear as midnight,

It’s going to be fine Steve, you’re a total sweetheart, and even if it isn’t love at first sight for Janice, she’ll figure it out soon enough. She can be difficult, but she’s a good kid. Don’t worry about it.

Well, that’s what she had said during their last date at least, and Steve really wanted to believe her, it’s just… he knew, oh gosh did he know that despite best intentions, sometimes people just don’t take to other people. Sometimes, time didn’t actually help with the whole hatred thing, and you just have to deal with it. But he wasn’t going to think about that now. Right now he was going to think about his flowers and the package under his arm, and putting on his best face. No impressions tonight Carlsberg. As much as Sarah said she found them charming, that was definitely not a universal opinion, and Janice was going to like him if he had to never do another impression for the rest of his life.

The door opened, and Steve was pleased to see the look of delight that crossed her face as she took in the flowers and large turquoise package he held. 

“Steve, you really didn’t need to! Thank you so much. Innumerable terrors, come inside and I’ll get these in some water. What’s in the box?”

“It’s just a small gift for Janice.”

He leaned in and spoke into her ear

“I thought I might try to butter her up a bit. You know I love kids, and she’s such an important part of your life, I don’t want to mess this up.”

Sarah ran a hand through his hair, flattening it out as much as it was willing to. He must have been channeling stress straight through his follicles.

“You are actually too sweet. She’ll love you, it’s like I said, you don’t have to worry.”

Somehow, Steve was not reassured. 

 *** 

Dinner went smoothly. Sarah had made unconformity lasagna, which was Janice’s favourite. She loved watching the way the layers mixed and melded with each other, like an earthquake had left the ruins of her dinner in its wake. Steve was clearly trying his hardest to make a good impression on Janice, but it wasn’t taking. She was just sulking and staring at her plate. They would have to have a talk about this later. Not liking someone and being rude were two different things entirely, as she had explained what felt like 12 times. 

After dinner, the three of them sat in the living room, where Sarah tried to make conversation, which was about as easy as getting milk from a cactus. Steve was trying so hard, and Janice was finally opening up, but it was slow going. When he started to tell her about how he’d gotten a mortgage for a nice family hoping to buy a home in Old Town, Sarah realised that she had to act fast. 

“Hey Jany, do you know what, Steve brought a present for you! Would you like to open it and we can take a look?”

The effect was instantaneous. The cracks in Janice’s stone of a face opened up to reveal wide eyes and a hopeful expression.

Never underestimate the power of a well-timed gift on the psychology of a child. 

Sarah ran to the door and grabbed the perfectly wrapped parcel, which she had put beside her new flowers. When she returned, Janice and Steve were sitting in silence, neither able to start a conversation. How she always manage to surround herself with people who were unbearably sweet, but utterly shy she would never know.

Janice started ripping off the wrapping paper as soon as she got a hold of it, determination evident.

When she had pulled off half the wrapping, Sarah realised that this was not going to go well. 

He had bought her a baby pink handgun. The lettering on the side in gold cursive ostentatiously announced that this was “My First Firearm”. It looked small enough that it would only take specially made – oh and there they were, Janice was pulling out a little bag of rubber bullets like they were a wad of hair in a public washroom.

Sarah’s brain went into full disaster control mode. She gave her daughter a stern look, which told her that she had better thank Steve or face truly dire consequences. Even so, it was with almost physical pain that she watched Janice slowly make her way over to Steve, and with a face returned to solid stone thank him for the gift.

“Okay hun, why don’t you go play in your room for a while; you could finish that scarf you’re making! We’re going to talk about boring grown-up things out here.”

Much as she hated to admit it to herself, this relationship might take a bit of salvaging.

*** 

Ugh. He had given her a “My First Firearm”! What did he think she was, three years old? Janice hadn’t had to use rubber bullets since she was in day care. How would she even defend herself with this? What a stupid-head.

“Here we go, another boyfriend to disappoint my mom. He’s dumb and boring and he works in a bank and it’s just like Valeria said and we’re never going to go out for ice cream again!”

Janice hadn’t realised that she was crying until she felt her throat tighten on her last words. Her mom was her only friend. Well, not her only one, but her only nice one. Now Steve had ruined it. He didn’t even like her, he just had to put up with her so he could be with her mom. And he was going to make her mom cry, and not spend time with her, and even the Faceless Old Woman was avoiding her now, because she didn’t like big emotional displays. She lifted herself out of her chair and onto her bed, shoving her face into her pillow so that stupid Steve wouldn’t be able to hear.

She wasn’t going to let Steve hurt her or her mom. She was 8 years old, and she was going to do like any good citizen would. She was going to protect her family.

 *** 

6 months later, Janice’s plans hadn’t turned out exactly as she had hoped. Steve had moved in. To their house of all things! He had moved in and he slept in her mom’s room and his stuff was everywhere and they had only been dating for a year this was ridiculous. She tried to mount a quiet rebellion against the tyranny he had brought. He would ask her if she had done her homework like it was his house. He would bring home ice cream in tubs, like that would make up for the fact that her mom and her hadn’t gone out for ice cream in ages. The worst of all was that he had heard him call her school to tell them that she was sick one day, and he had called her his stepdaughter. As if using a name would prove anything. He wasn’t her dad, he was just some guy who would make her mom sad just like all the others.

And now he had invited his whole family over for Passover. They usually had their Seder at the Rosenthals’ house, where they served big meringues topped with whipped cream and berries, but this year they were all going to have a “family Seder” and Steve was making some sort of “surprise dessert”. So far, all that had surprised Janice was the amount of work that went into being a host.

When the doorbell rang, Janice went and hid in the living room, giving herself maximum time before she had to see the guests. When they did come in, her hopes of this dinner being at all bearable were dashed. Steve had brought an army. There were probably nine people in the room, counting her mom and Steve, who might as well, what with the way they were talking and mingling with the guests. Janice wanted to go hide next to her mom, but she was sure someone would tell her that “oh I held you when you were a baby look how much you’ve grown do you remember me you were the cutest thing”, all of which Janice couldn’t and didn’t want to respond to, so she held her position in the corner of the room.

After what felt like an eternity of waiting and hiding, they were all called through to sit at the table. Janice had set it all by herself, and had spent ages learning how to fold napkin origami, so that she could give each guest one of the ten plagues. She tried to check who was noticing her work as casually as possible. 

There was something wrong. Her spot was supposed to be beside her mom, there had been a missing chair space specifically for her. She had put it there! This didn’t make any sense.

“Mom. Mom. Momomomomom. Mom.” She finally looked down from her conversation with some white-haired and wrinkled lady. “I think someone moved my spot by accident. Can you move the chair next to you away for me?”

“Jany, I’m so so sorry. I know you wanted to sit next to me, but Steve’s Bubbe is mostly deaf, and asked to sit to my right so that she could hear me saying the prayers, and after I agreed, I found out that Steve’s Zede is also hard of hearing, and Steve said he could sit on my left. I’m so sorry. I know this is a big disappointment, but I put you next to someone I think you’ll get along with great! Did you know that Steve is related to Cecil Palmer? That’s him over there!”

Janice looked over to beside the empty spot at the table. Beside it sat a person of average height and build, who was talking animatedly to a balding man to his left. 

“That’s the Voice of Night Vale? The one we listen to every evening? Shouldn’t he be more…?”

“Janice, I would think carefully about if you want to have another chat about judging people based on their appearances. I don’t think either of us want to have to go through the slideshow again.”

“Oh masters of us all no.”

Janice turned and scooted away as quickly as possible, before any more threats could be handed out. She went over, and took her place at the table. Maybe she could get through the whole evening by pretending that she couldn’t see anyone to the left or right of her? If she didn’t make eye contact, they’d have no reason to start a conversation.

It was over the dipping parsley that disaster struck. She accidentally dripped salt water onto her neighbour’s hand, and they made eye contact as she apologised and tried to disappear.

“It’s alright, nothing that a napkin won’t fix. They were really cool, weren’t they? I got frogs. I think the Void one was the best though.”

“You noticed the napkin origami? It took me forever to make them all and no one even noticed! Void was really hard. I had to fold it over and over on itself to imitate the vacuum of space, and eventually it got so small that I couldn’t hold it and I had to glare at it until it got too ashamed of itself and did the final fold itself.”

“You made these? Maybe you could show me during dinner how to do it? I’m terrible at that kind of thing.”

“Oh yeah! I’ll show you how to do all of them! I practiced lots and lots to get them perfect. Setting the table was my job.”

“That sounds great! I’m Cecil, by the way.” He stuck out a hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Wow, he was treating her like a grownup! Janice took his hand and shook like her mom had taught.

“I’m Janice.”

Maybe this evening wouldn't be so terrible after all?

During the meal, Janice discovered that Cecil was a pretty cool guy. He also liked crafts, and she snuck her woodcarving set out to show him some basic steps and rules. He pointed out where Steve had hidden the Afikomen, so that she found it after two minutes of pretend searching, and they both agreed that he had hidden it in way too hard of a place. During dessert, they took turns trying to swallow bites of Steve’s surprise, which turned out to be scones. In their opinion, they could have been replaced by hardened blocks of sand without anyone noticing. Cecil declared that he was never going to try another one ever again. 

After the Seder was done, Janice was sad to see Cecil go. He was nice, and she wished that he would come back so she could show him more crafts that they could do. He didn’t even know any of the kids at her school, so he couldn’t know that she was a freak with no friends.

*** 

Three weeks after the Seder, Janice hadn’t stopped asking if Cecil Palmer could come over for a playdate. Sarah was at a loss. She knew her daughter didn’t have very many friends, and she couldn’t figure out a way to explain that grown-ups usually did not strike up friendships with kids. She had to figure out a way of saying it to Janice without ruining her already precarious self-confidence. In the end it was Steve who came up with the answer.

“Why don’t you just let them have a playdate?”

“Steve, I love you, but that doesn’t solve anything. I can’t ask a person I hardly know to come and play with my daughter because she’s lonely. Besides, if she’s really that friend-deprived, I should find a way of introducing her to people her own age.”

“Listen, she may not like me, and neither may my step-brother, but they really seemed to take a shine to each other! I think Cecil wouldn’t mind coming by and playing with her for a couple hours. We could phrase it as babysitting. Then everybody wins!”

“I really don’t think—“

“He’s my relative, why don’t I make the call, and if it’s weird, I’ll be the one to get the blame. He doesn’t think well of me anyway. There’s no way to lose!”

*** 

The phone ringing startled Cecil out of a restless sleep. Who was calling at this hour? He flipped his phone over. Of course. Steve was calling. Steve would call at an obscene time even though all the social niceties said that you should wait and… he should probably get this.

“What Steve.”

“Heyah Cecil, I was just calling about my stepdaughter, Janice. I was wondering if you could babysit for Sarah and I at some point this week. It would be really great.”

“Steve, you woke me up at 1 a.m. to ask me a favour? No. No Steve I am not going to do that. You never listen and you are selfishly depriving me of sleep just like you selfishly endanger everyone by provoking the powers that guide and control this town. So no. I will do no favours.”

“Cecil, it’s 1 in the afternoon, not in the morning. Did you sleep at the station again? You really should get home. It’s not good for you to work all the time.”

“It is none of your business where I sleep Steve. Last time I checked you were my step brother, not my mother. Goodbye.”

Cecil slammed his finger onto the hang-up button on his screen. He waited a few seconds, and when his anger had not dissipated, he slammed his phone down on the desk in front of him for good measure.

What gave Steve Carlsberg the right to tell him what to do? Nothing and no one. Here he was, following his dreams, when Steve was, what, a banker? With a stupid job and stupid scones and no patriotism to speak of. Cecil didn’t know much, but at least he knew he didn’t want that.

He raised his head from where it had fallen, unnoticed by him, into his folded arms. He was exhausted. Come to think of it, it didn’t make any sense for it to be 1 a.m. he had been working until 4 before he had decided to rest his eyes for a few minutes. He looked around for the paper he had been working on. The coffee cups and take-out containers littering his desk made a topographical study of his life. The paper itself had gotten some pizza sauce on it at some point in the night and was barely legible, the only visible parts making up a crude outline of a segment about how ravens are secretly just several starlings which have dipped themselves in ink and gone through puberty. Wait… hadn’t he read that on air two days ago? He scratched his chin, and winced at the weeks’ worth of stubble growing there. Maybe Steve was….not wrong… maybe he should go home and try to get a proper shower and a rest before the show tonight. Oh wait no, it’s Sunday, he had the day off. He needed to get his life in order. Do something other than work for a bit. He had picked up his phone and dialed before he knew consciously what he was doing.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Sarah? It’s Cecil. Listen, I would love to babysit for you if you ever needed a night off. I heard something about this week?”

*** 

Two months later, Cecil was sitting, waiting for The Weather to finish, and thinking about Janice. Sarah had been delighted to have a babysitter, Janice had been delighted to have someone she could show her crafts to, and Cecil had gotten a well-needed excuse to force himself to get out of the station at least once a week. It was an unfortunate side-effect that (ugh) Steve was being helped as well. Some things were unavoidable. 

Over the last two months it had become increasingly obvious that Janice had no one she considered a friend besides himself, her mother, and a kid from school named Valeria. He didn’t like the stories he was hearing about the ways the other kids treated her. From what she said, they seemed to ignore her in class and at lunch, and she was clearly too shy to try to attempt any conversation. He had been considering for a few weeks now how he could talk to Sarah about this without sounding like he was accusing her of being a bad parent. He really didn’t want to be denied access to seeing his new niece, just because of a misunderstanding.

Intern April waved at him, telling him that the weather was ending, and he replaced his headphones. 

“The Boy Scouts of Night Vale have changed their schedule due to frequent mouse-storms in their usual meeting headquarters, which appear to occur every Friday through Saturday, in months containing the letter “A”. During those months, they will be meeting on Wednesdays, which are only subject to minor piranha avalanches. “

Cecil sat up straight among the mess of his desk and recording booth.

“Listeners! I have just had the best idea!”

*** 

Janice had probably never felt so nervous in her whole life. She thought that she might throw up, and all she had eaten today was a scone that Steve had pleaded with her to eat for breakfast, because her mom was at work early and please couldn’t she eat something before her uncle Cecil came to pick her up please? Surprisingly, the scone had been really good. It was just when he tried to make his food Pesadic that Steve failed miserably, however when she had told him this, he hadn’t seemed as happy as she had thought he would. She had made extra sure to finish the whole thing, so he would know she had liked it for real. Now all that effort was going to go to waste, because she was going to throw up all over all the new people and embarrass herself and never be able to show her face again.

She was opening her mouth to say as much, and to tell Uncle Cecil to turn the car around before she ruined everything, when they pulled to a stop, and Janice realised to her horror that they were already there. 

“Are you excited for your first day of Girl Scouts? You’re going to be a Brownie, which is what I was when I became a scout! I think you’ll love it. You get to go camping, and sell cookies, and meet lots of really nice people!”

“Cecil, I…I don’t wanna go. I feel sick. We should go home.”

He turned to her, frowning slightly.

“Your mom said this might happen. The first meeting is only an hour long. It’s just to get to know people. If you go to the whole thing and really hate it, then you never have to try it again, but I was just as nervous as you are now on my first day. I know you can do it.”

Janice knew that was a lie. No one had ever been as nervous as she was now. It was nice of him to say so though. She had to try.

“We’ll go out for ice cream after?”

“You can pick any flavour you like!”

“I always get to pick whatever flavour I like Cecil.”

She stuck her tongue out at him, smiling at his laugh as he got out of the car and removed her chair from the back. Once she was in, they went down the path to where a large group of girls of in matching uniforms to the one Janice herself was wearing were mingling.

They were talking, and there was no way she’d be able to join their conversation. Oh this was going to be the worst day.

Just then, a short, stocky girl of about eleven came over. In her large shoulder bag, Janice could see the corner of a string-craft book sticking out. She owned that one!

“Hi! I’m Tamika. Are you one of the new brownies? Lacy, my troupe leader, said that I was in charge of greeting anyone who came over until she was out of the bathroom. Technically she told me not to tell people that last part, but I believe it’s important to be straight forward and honest, no matter what the circumstances.”

“Janice.” She stuck out her hand, like a proper grown-up would. This girl seemed very adult. “I like being honest.” No no no no. Why did she say that? Try again. “I like that book in your bag. My mom gave me Unconventional Uses for Non-Deadly Products for my birthday, and I’ve already made five weapons out of just string, wood, and ‘a desire to maim or seriously injure’.”

“I don’t usually do crafts, but I was in a… place with a lot of books… and this one seemed cool. Maybe you could help me with one sometime? I’m a great shot, but terrible with anything close to me.”

Janice smiled at the other girl, and was about to respond when she noticed Uncle Cecil standing awkwardly behind her.

“It’s okay Cecil, you can head home if you want. I think I can figure this out. We’re still going for ice cream after though, right?”

He looked shocked.

“I can’t believe you could think I would go back on my word! I’m going to talk to some grown-ups about dropping you off, and I’ll be back in an hour to drive you and your ice cream home.”

He leaned over for a hug, and she gave him an extra tight squeeze to make sure he knew how happy she was. After he had walked away, she turned back to Tamika, who was flipping through her book to find a page.

“Here! See, I really wanted to learn how to make a slingshot, but I keep messing up on how to attach it to the handle.”

That was easy! Janice could show her that in a second! She tried not to show how excited she was to be able to show a big girl like Tamika something as easy as weapon crafting. If this was all there was to scouts, it would be a breeze.

 *** 

That night, when Janice was in bed, the Faceless Old Woman’s breath whispering softly in her ear, she found herself thinking about her family. She had been happy with her mom, and they had been a good team, but she had to admit that family wasn’t nearly as simple as she had thought, and that maybe that wasn’t entirely a bad thing.


End file.
